Once again, I'm using this blog as a place to empty all the whirling, twisting thoughts in my head.
There's no need to get into the detail, but it seems that everywhere I turn, I'm reminded of my inadequacies. It seems that I'm surrounded by lack instead of fulfillment, and it's getting harder and harder to shake those feelings off and keep my chin up.
With increasing regularity, good news is almost immediately voided by bad news in my life, and it's wearing me down, down, down, to the point where, presently, I feel that my grip on contentment is tenuous at best.
It's not a matter of my mental place being depressed; it's a matter of ceaseless difficulties in various arenas of life wearing on me, and I'm so. very. tired. It's a bit like my will to fight it all off has been chipped away into it's weakest form. I dislike this weakness more than I can say.
Really, this blog is just an FYI to say that if I seem distant, that's why. While the old adage "this too shall pass" is one I'm wholly aware of, I feel that it's a bit of a joke with regard to my life, at present. And, because I don't want to be a Cloud of Emo all over the place, I tend to withdraw when I'm feeling permanently stressed, which is what's been going on for at least 4 months at this point. And in varying degrees since 2009, before that.
Suffice to say, I've been having a rough time for a long time, and I'm tired.
Good thoughts are appreciated.
- A
I could tell you it will get better, but you know that. I could tell you that I've been there, but you know that too. I could tell you that I'm here for you, for whatever, and I hope you know that.
ReplyDeleteI'll just tell you that I love you and that you inspire me and that you're an amazing person. Which you know, but it's always nice to hear <3
And you know I appreciate everything, ever. Period.
DeleteThank you.
Always good thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHey look, I can comment again! :)