A Bookish Sort of Update

 before all the christmas business starts up, i wanted to post a few updates about a few sorts of booky information.

via

1) after a whole lot of personal upheaval/stress/development type stuff, i will be back to editing my novel after this weekend. the goal is to get through it and start querying in january 2013. (if you're reading this, and you read the rough draft of my manuscript, and you're interested in reading the more finessed variation of the book, let me know.) i'm really excited to get back to it and i hope that 2013 is the Year in Which Ang Acquires an Agent as well as the Year in Which Ang Obtains a Publishing Deal.

2) furthermore, but along those same lines, i'll be outlining books 2 and 3 in the series betwixt editing. i'm really excited to get back to my characters, guys. like, really, really.

3) also, i think i'll be back to writing My Beautiful Disaster (tentative title) instead of my murder mystery book once querying begins.

moving on to something a bit different:

via

 

4) i hit my reading stretch goal for the year. as of today, i've read 105 books, which is crazy and awesome. i'll probably read a good bit less next year, as i'll be writing and editing and querying (oh my!) throughout 2013, but i'm still going to aim for 60 books, or 5ish a month.

that's all for now.

:)

in which my heart hurts

this week, a newtown, connecticut elementary school became a site of unnecessary violence and pain, loss and suffering. i won't get into my personal, detailed thoughts, as a mother and human, regarding this terrible thing. i won't talk about gun control or mental health care or anything else you'll hear about from a talking head on one of the television or radio networks of mainstream america.

what i will say is that this shouldn't have happened.

what i will say is that this has happened too much in relatively recent american history.

what i will say is that it rips me to shreds.

what i will say is that these children should not have died, and it's these children who deserve to be remembered, not the killer, or the talking heads, or the rhetoric surrounding the situation.

this is a beautiful tribute. "hallelujah" is one of my favorite songs, ever, and this brought tears to my eyes. thank you to NBC and the voice for putting this together.



we will never forget you, sweet babies. never, ever. not in a million years.

Finally Feeling Like Christmas

i won't lie: the weeks leading up to our move back to austin and since our arrival were very difficult. finally, this week, there was a break through of sorts, and things feel like they are more back to normal.

of course, thanks to all the stress, we were sorely lacking in christmas spirit around these parts, and now that we're breathing a little easier, we've finally put up our tree, stockings, and our little christmas countdown, too. additionally, i transcribed my daughter's letter to santa today - in which she asked for nothing crazy! i sort of hoped that she'd ask for something crazy, like a unicorn, but she asked for lalaloopsy dolls, dress up clothes, and books - all pretty standard fare for a girly girl like we've been blessed with.

the hubs and i aren't really going to do christmas this year, given that he's not working yet, and operating on one income is tough, but i thought i'd post a few examples of my favorite kind of christmas decor.

what i really require from holiday decor is for it to feel "home-y". i love this simple color scheme,a nd the fact that the items they chose to decorate with aren't overly flashy (not that I don't love a good sparkle!). 

truthfully, this would never really be an option for me, with a wee one at home, but i think it's stunning and really, quite inventive. i love this mix of media. 

i love love love this idea! so simple and chic.

and, as for a few things that are definitely on my wish list this year?

we don't really have much in the way of christmas traditions, but we do buy new pajamas every year and sleep in them, and this year will be no exception.

do you have any christmas eve/holiday traditions you keep up with every year?

Happy Birthday to Me!

hey-o! 

for my birthday, i thought i'd make a hodgepodge post in which i shoe you a few of my favorite things. so, here we go!

in no particular order:

chuck taylors, because duh.

ben whishaw as Q in skyfall. OHAI BOY.

lattes (particularly with fun foam designs)

Daryl fucking Dixon, yo. Obviously.

Foo. Dave Grohl is cooler than you.

Mumford & Sons.

books.

Ten. (and the TARDIS, i suppose)

Marcus Mumford's lyrics.

and last, but definitely not least:

Cupcakes. Because of reasons.

anyhoo. there's obviously more where that came from, and i forgot to link to the original files, and for that i apologize, but: 

happy birthday to me!

hope you all have a fab day.

Becoming a Master

last saturday, i got together with a group of friends i haven't seen in nearly a year, and it was super fun. all we did was sit around and drink wine and talk smack and laugh, and it was just a blast. at one point, though, my friend asked the group of us that were all seated at the table in the kitchen, "if you could do anything for work what would you do?"

and it got me thinking. 

my immediate answer is "be a writer." 

someone responded, "but you are a writer," which is a valid point, but i suppose i was meaning the sort of writer who actually gets paid for stringing all those words together. 

however, then i thought, aside from writing, what would i want to do? 

the answer was very clear to me - i'd want to work with teenagers. i realize that probably a large percentage of you guys reading this are thinking, 'lady, you must be out of your mind,' but the fact is that they don't drive me insane the way they do most people. and in fact, kids in that age bracket are in such a vulnerable place - their entire lives are spread out before them, this million mile road map with no real key provided to give direction - and we expect them to just get it done. 

it's stressful and difficult and crazy, and i'm convinced that they just need someone - maybe even just one person - to show them that they are actually cared about. that they're important. that their thoughts are worthwhile, and they can be somebody. 

basically, they need somebody to convey this message to them, and to make them believe it: 

via

i've always loved that movie. side note: there's very little that makes me happier than this scene (ohai, professor mcgonagall and lauryn hill and that dude from city high!). but anyway, back on track: 

life's been stressful for me lately, to say the least. i'm emotionally drained, seemingly perpetually in need of a nap, and having a hard time focusing on  much of anything. but in my conversation with my friend, i realized that, although i generally dislike school to an inordinate degree, i could go back to get a master's degree if i knew it would get me into a place where i'd be working with kids on a full time basis. thankfully, texas state university has a program where they'll allow you to take courses for shortage areas (subjects that are in desperate need of teachers to fill positions) in which they'll pay you 35K for "living expenses" while you're completing the 36 hours they require to award that degree, provided you work in AISD when you're done. 

it's a viable option. 

i'm pretty excited about the idea, and i'm going to make some phone calls this week to get some further detail, because if i'm not writing, i simply can't bear the thought of sitting around in corporate america forever (although there is one company i wouldn't mind working for - more on that later). 

what do you want to do with your life? 

I WANNA ROCK!

2012: 12 things.

with my 30th birthday approaching rather quickly, i thought i'd make a list of things i did in 2012, if only for my memory. in no particular order:

1) i lost 25 pounds, making me the thinnest i've been in over a decade.
2) i became a Whovian, because life is simply better with The Doctor.
3) i wrote a book. it's 74K of YA fantasy, and i'll be querying it in the new year.
4) i lived in nashville for the majority of the year, and loved every second.
5) i saw mumford live, finally.
6) i made a handful of new friends, whom i am convinced will be around for the long haul.
7) I (am on track to) read 104 books. holy awesome, batman.
8) i stopped drinking soda, finally, and for real.
9) i ran a 5K.
10) i grew my inner-book nerd to an exponential degree.
11) i loved fiercely.
12) i learned that i'm stronger than i think i am.

on december 8th, i will officially begin my 30s, and while there's quite a bit in my life that is in flux right now, i refuse to let it get me down. i got this.

thanks for being mostly awesome, 2012, but onward and upward, i say. happy birthday to me, y'all.

via

via

via

Mumford and Me

sometimes, you hear a song by a band, and you love it immediately.

they're not getting any radio play, so you start looking their songs up, and you find that you really dig the rest of their stuff, even the b-sides which aren't going to be on their forthcoming studio album.

when that album finally releases, you listen to it so much that you know it backward and forward, and then a second album is scheduled to be released.

you're insanely nervous because how can anything live up to that first album which was, for you, absolute perfection?

and then the pre-order of that second album downloads to your iTunes, and you lose your mind, because it's so freaking fantastic.

that's me and mumford, people.

there are a litany of reasons i love them

i love that marcus mumford writes songs based on his residual feelings after he finished books.

i love that marcus mumford's lyrics are compelling and lovely to read all on their own, regardless of the sound that comes along with them.

i love their vocal harmonies.

i love the grating behind marcus' voice.

i love that winston does inappropriate things to the air while playing a fiddle.

i love that ben's absurdly adorable (even if he's sort of the worst dj in the world).

i love that ted is so lovely and smart, and that it's so cool to listen to him ramble on about their music.

but mostly, i love that their songs always, always, always hit me right in the FEELS.

mumford's lyrics are steeped in religion, conflict based on religion, love, and some of the harsh realities of life. as a result, they speak to me on a long list of levels, my tortured religious history being rather high on that list. also, some things that have happened in  my life recently are almost narrated by a handful of their songs, so much so that i can't adequately explain it.

they're one of my favorite bands. the end.

NaNoWrimo 2012 : Thoughts on Drafting

you know what makes me laugh?

the assumption that so many people live under in which they actually believe writers are all hippies who write flowery words all day and never do any work.

fact #1: most writers i know are completely neurotic about their craft.
fact #2: writing is intensely personal, thereby enhancing the aforementioned neuroticism.
fact #3: writing well is hard. if it were easy, everyone would have a book deal.

i think one of the best parts of nanowrimo is that it forces people to put up or shut up. you will either write that required 50K or you won't, and really, it's all on you. if you're someone like me, who reacts well to this sort of pressure, you will likely thrive during nanowrimo. if not...well, it's likely that you'll hate nano. and here's why:

drafting a manuscript is bloody difficult on a good day.

so, when there's a looming deadline and a rather intimidating word count requirement...

you have to shove through the doubt and the fear and the questions and JUST WRITE.

but that's the beauty of nano, for me: because to finish a draft, well ... you have to finish a draft. which means you have to write the words. which means they have to get out of your head and "onto paper."

and that brings us to:

fact #4: the first draft of anything will be shit. if you think otherwise, you're crazy.

that's what revisions and edits are for. duh.

alice in wonderland

here's a funny little fact about me:

i really dislike most classic literature.

yeah, yeah, i know. "but all modern literature wouldn't exist if not for the classics." i know that. but i hate reading them. i can't name a single piece of victorian literature that i have enjoyed reading. i do love shakespeare, though, and i like more "modern" classics, like The Great Gatsby. but generally? meh squared.

however:

i have a sort of life long obsession with Alice in Wonderland.



Disney's Alice

via

(side note: i read it and thought it was only okay.)

despite the glorious meh i felt after reading it again (as an adult), i just love the idea. i love the spins it could take, the way you can manipulate it into something so very different than what's canon. this is why i loved syfy's Alice miniseries, and why i really enjoyed tim burton's take on the story as well. (more on tim burton here.)

A DeviantArt Wallpaper for Tim Burton's film

via

SyFy's Hatter. My Favorite.

via

as a matter of fact, i have a dark little spin on Alice in Wonderland in my pile of ideas - one day, i'll write it all down (at present, i have about 1500 words, and the bones of the story in a scrivener doc). it was inspired by this image, which was originally sent to me by my friend, Bec:
 

and i just love this image:

via

(side note: i have just realized that my life-long affinity for striped socks probably originated with my affection for this story.)

What's your favorite kid's story?



NaNoWriMo 2012

my life for the next 30 days, folks. i'll post a few blogs, i'm sure, but mostly, i'll be writing a creepy little story that's been plaguing me for the last few days.

are you NaNo'ing? GOOD LUCK if so! 

MWAH! 

-ang

my favorite nightmare

anyone who's known me for any period of time can guess what this post is going to be about based solely on the title. i thought it a fitting topic, considering today is halloween!

the rest of you can stay in the dark for a tiny bit longer, yes? yes. here's a little scene setting for you:

it's 1993. i'm 10ish. i see previews for a movie that i want to see so badly, i can hardly see straight.

but movies were never really an option for me as a kid, so i never got to see it.

i am either 10 or 11, and it's early 1994. i'm with my dad at a store, and he's buying a big screen television. i'm wandering the store while he haggles with the guy over price, and lo and behold, the movie is playing on one of their TVs, with audio and everything.

i plop down on a couch (convenient, those living room mock ups are!) and watch half an hour of it, completely enraptured. i am a very unhappy camper when dad makes me leave the store before the movie is over.

the movie i'm talking about, of course, is The Nightmare Before Christmas.

via

still, to this day, i love everything about it. i love the soundtrack, i love the creepy aesthetic, and i love the stop-motion claymation business. (the aesthetic - goth-lite, perhaps? - has always been something i love, though i've never made myself up as such). i love the covers the soundtrack has garnered (especially the Vitamin String Quartet one), and i love the implications of the story for real life.

for me, The Nightmare Before Christmas represents the very best of my childhood; it makes me nostalgic, it makes me happy, and it has always, always spoken to some part of my psyche that it continues to assuage today. in fact, i love almost everything tim burton has ever produced (save for one thing in particular) - edward scissorhands, corpse bride, 9, james and the giant peach ... but Nightmare is my favorite.

and, as proof that the apple often doesn't fall far from the tree? my daughter adores it, too.

via

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY! <3

book nerd 101

i read a lot.

this is evidenced by my goodreads lists.

also, i'm 11 books away from hitting my goal of reading 100 books in 2012. #exciting

so, anyway, i wanted to list a few books i'm excited about that will be released soon or will be delivered to my house soon:

DAYS OF BLOOD AND STARLIGHT by Laini Taylor

via 

laini has this amazing way with words. her prose is beautiful, never purple, and always impacting. also, the world she crafted here, one that aligns right alongside the one we actually live in, is compelling and terrible and feels very complete, even after just one book (her first in this trilogy, Daughter of Smoke and Bone). her characters are real, her conflicts are real, and the backstories she gives everyone within the pages of her books are heavy and gritty and intense. i simply cannot wait for this, the second installment of Karou's story.

really, it's probably an accurate statement to say that this book belongs at the top of my "books i'm impatiently waiting on" list.

~*~*~

THE EVOLUTION OF MARA DYER by Michelle Hodkin

via

reviews among my friends (and friends of friends) for hodkin's first book (The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer) were mixed. me, personally? i found it intriguing, to say the least. the mix of psychosis and mystery left me definitely interested to see what book 2 would hold within it's pages, and this book is on its way to my house as i type this, scheduled for delivery on monday. 

can't wait to see what happens in this one. (p.s. the cover art for this and The Unbecoming is stunning. love it.) 

~*~*~

The Caster Chronicles by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

via

so, here's the deal with me and the beautiful creatures books: i have been interested since day one, but never actually picked them up because... well, i don't actually know. i was definitely interested in the fact that a boy narrates (i am penning a male-narrated novel for this year's NaNoWriMo), the premise surrounding a variant of witches, and the fact that a few of my nearest and dearest devoured the books. but my to be read list is insane, and when i realized that there were going to be four books... i decided to wait. 

well, my pre-order of the box set of the caster chronicles is on its way to me, and i can't wait!

~*~*~

there are more books i'm looking forward to, but i'll save those for another post.

which books are you not-so-patiently waiting on?

the color run: nashville

i did this.

*i* did this!

via

before august 2012, i couldn't run for a minute straight without feeling winded. and i just ran a 5K. 

before august 2012, i had been avoiding my 2012 goal to become a runner, certain it was an impossible thing to aspire to. and i just ran a 5K. 

before october 21st, 2012, i was confident that i would never be a "real" runner. and i just ran a 5K. 

i am a runner. 

i had moments of doubt, and concerns about whether i'd be able to run the whole thing. i knew i'd have to walk a portion of it at least, and i wondered if walking part of it was cheating. but in the end, i realized that none of that really matters. this was one of the most inspiring, worthwhile things i've ever pushed myself into doing. 

the end.

TGFB (thank god for books)

first: a video -

via

did you read this book?

i read this book. when i was about 11 or so, and i loved it. and when this movie was released about a year or two later, i saw it, and loved it. harriet m. welsch, as a character, spoke to me. she was different, smart and quirky, and she was obsessive about observing life as she saw it. she wrote constantly.

basically, she was me.

i can say that harriet m. welsch was probably the first MG/YA heroine that i truly identified with, that i can remember. by the time i met harriet, i had already read a wrinkle in time, which stars my beloved meg murry, and roald dahl had already introduced me to matilda & charlie, but harriet was my girl.

here's why i'm bringing this up.

i watched this movie this evening with my daughter, and not only is it still a poignant reference to life as a middling adolescent (and in general), but it still made me cry. i remember crying so hard when ole golly had to leave harriet, and when sport and janie wouldn't initially forgive her. but that was a million years ago, right? when i was 13!

and yet: the tears still came. and yet, i still melt when sport rushes out of the store, embarrassed because his friend had to help him so that he could afford groceries for the week. and yet i still hate marion hawthorne just a tad.

harriet the spy is one of very few books i remember falling in love with in my early adolescence. sure, i read all  the time, but there are probably five books at most that i remember reading until my eyes couldn't take it anymore and i finally succumbed to sleep. there are few books that, with a mere mention, shove me all the way back, back, back to twelve or thirteen year old me, holed up in my room with my nose in a book, wishing life was a bit more like the world i found between those beloved pages.


that's the beauty of books, though, isn't it?

they grab you and then they begin to live under your skin, and they speak to some internal part of you that never forgets their message.

and so when you're twenty-nine and have a child of your own, those memories can still grab hold of you and overwhelm you a bit.

thank god for books is all i can say.

dear 16-year-old me

inspiration post 1 - inspiration post 2

*~*~*

today is spirit day. though I am not LGBT (lesbian, gay,. bisexual, transgendered) myself, i support their rights, and the rash of suicides the world has seen in the last few years, on top of things like Matthew Shepard's story simply break my heart. to be honest, there are not many social issues that i care more about than equal marriage and adoption rights for the LGBT community. i read a lovely friend's post today, in which she shares some very personal information, and it was the catalyst to my sharing this letter, which i've been holding on to since reading inspiration post #2 last week.

onward and upward, my friends.

 *~*~*

dear sixteen-year-old angela,

believe it or not, one day, you'll go by ang. and you'll sort of prefer it. don't give me that face, girl. i know you better than you do.

at this point, you've only been in austin for a few months, but you love it. you've started over. you're going to church now, for the first time in your life. it's giving you a new sense of purpose, a new set of friends, and a new outlook on life. you're happy at your new high school. soon, you're going to meet the boy that will be your high school sweetheart, and in the next few months, you'll meet a handful of people who are still in your life today, nearly 14 years later.

but i gotta tell you: some things that are going to be pretty terrible are on their way.

one day, the church family you are beginning to love right now will rip you apart. be strong. believe me when i say that this tearing apart of your soul will make you that much more of a fighter. you will make it through.

one day, (as a result of that last item) you'll lose sight of that new focus that you've been able to gain through a relationship with God. your relationship with Christianity will be tenuous at best for a long while.

one day, you're going to experience the pain that comes with the loss of your first love. you'll spend three days in a cloudy haze, and the residual pain from that loss will stick with you for years. it will suck; there's no way around it. (side note? not the aforementioned high school romance.)

one day, you'll get a phone call in which you find out that your stepmother has OD'd and your brother needs brain surgery for the most severe form of epilepsy known to man. the phone call will come from your mostly estranged father. when you feel a strange pull to be there for him, you won't say no. go with it.

life will be hard. you'll be falling apart on the inside. but you won't admit that to anyone. ever.

but one day?

one day, you'll have coffee with a girl from your past, and in that conversation, you'll get to realize that you're really over the heartache caused by that church family. it will be wonderful.

one day, you'll be content with where you and God are. believe that.

one day, you'll meet a man who is nothing you were looking for and everything you need. he'll come into your life after a short string of painful relationships. and he'll be the breath of fresh air you've always been in need of.

side note: one day, you'll get married to that man. and it will be awesome.

one day, you'll have a little girl. she'll be amazing and hilarious and sassy and smart, and you'll wonder how you ever lived without her around. (the answer: life was a lot less wonderful then.)

one day, the relationship you have with your father will make sense. it won't be perfect, but it will be what you've always needed it to be. and you'll lose other key family relationships because toxic is as toxic does. i know you can't fathom that. but once again, i know better than you, girlie. shhh.

one day, you'll realize that those three girls you met when you were sixteen will still be around when you're twenty-nine (and virtually everyone else will have fallen away). they're your rock. don't doubt them - though it will be hard sometimes, because life is never perfect, and neither are people. things happen. those girls? they'll make you realize that family has nothing to do with genetics and everything to do with everything else. also, you'll meet people in the loveliest of strange ways (in line & online, to name a few), and those people will hold you up when you can hardly stand to crawl. and because you'll have been through so much and come out on top, when you're in your early 20s, you'll be able to be that strength for another girl (who will become your "little sister"). life is a reciprocal thing sometimes. paying it forward is amazing every time. true story.

you are strong.

you are smart.

you are talented.

you are beautiful.

don't forget any of this. because by the time you're me?

life is pretty damn sweet.

keep your head up, doll. it's all going to be great.


xoxo,
twenty-nine-year-old ang

p.s. music, books, and writing will only become more and more important to you as you grow older. crazy, right?

-
-
-

thanks to one of my 3 girls for posting her letter last week and for being there when i was 16 and searching. so much love, J, so much love.

what would you say to your sixteen-year-old self?

music & me: zz ward

here's a thing you should know about me: i'm a bit of a music snob.

not in the conventionalway, though. what i mean is that it's highly unlikely that i'll label any singer that can't *actually* sing as someone whom i either take seriously or call my favorite. that said, we all know britney spears couldnt sing her way out of a bucket, BUT the girl makes some killer tunes, so i like her, because if you tell me that you can't enjoy a well-crafted pop song, well, maybe i worry for your humanity.

here's another thing you should know about me: it's rare for me to love something immediately. usually, it takes some time for things to grow on me. i might like it a lot, but usually, it takes a few listens. there are exceptions (which i'll probably ramble about in another blog post), but... yeah.

so anyway. yesterday, my friend patrick linked me to this video.

and i loved it.

so here's my recommendation for ZZ WARD:

this girl can blow, she's pretty, and (according to her bio in various places), she plays a handful of instruments. i personally love the attitude she brings to her songs. "put the gun down" is like a sassier version of "jolene," "til the casket drops" is an crazy intense song of devotion, and she sounds great live (which is a big test for me, as a fellow singer). also, her stuff translates to acoustic wonderfully. I kind of think anybody who wishes adele wasn't such a classy broad, lyrically, will fall in love with ms. ward, because this girl lays it all out there.

sounds like: Adele meets hip hop and a little grit

video for "put the gun down"

 

 

acoustic version, "til the casket drops"

 

i can't lie: i snagged this album on itunes last night as soon as i heard a couple more of her tracks on spotify. and, i learned that she's playing here in nashville in a couple weeks, and i've snagged a couple tickets, so i will be in attendance. super excited.

i love her sound, i love her aesthetic, and i am thoroughly impressed with this debut (!!).

new tunes ftw!

#loveit: Houndstooth

one of my favorite prints is houndstooth. i've been coveting a houndstooth dress for ages, since my birthday a few years ago when a friend wore her jacket of the same print, and i fell in love with it. i love that it's classic and modern all at once.

via

LOVE this chair. i want it in my living room.

via

this dress is amazing and such a throwback. i feel like i'd fit right in on mad men if i wore this, which is awesome.

via

these are some pretty hot shoes, yo. loves it.

via

not even gonna lie. i just bought this dress. on sale. 

i can't WAIT to wear it. 

what's your favorite print? are you known to rock some houndstooth? ;) 

music & me: runaways

the killers and i have had a strange little relationship.

i avoided them purposefully when "somebody told me" was released, based solely on the fact that sometimes, i avoid mainstream music, and OY, they were everywhere.

but then, "mr. brightside" was released.

and i loved it.
[sidenote: i find brandon flowers absurdly attractive, eyeliner or not, dandy or not, hipster-wear or not.]

then there was "when you were young," which, i will admit, is probably one of my favorite songs of the last decade.

however: the songs that followed up "when you were young" lost me. they weren't my cup of tea, and i sort of stopped following the killers for a few years.

i am happy to say that, with their most recent single, they've won me back over, and i've enjoyed the few tracks i've listened to from their new album, battle born.

here's the video for "runaways":

i love the simple treatment of the song, and i'm looking forward to their next single.

writing: nanowrimo 2012

i'll be participating in national novel writing month (NaNoWriMo) again this november. this will be the second one in a row for me. last year, i NaNo'd in 2 weeks, because i ignored my need for sleep and also ended up getting a sinus infection that knocked me out of commission regarding work attendance for 2 days, so i wrote 10k in a single day.

i am lucky that i have the ability to write quickly, but also pretty cleanly, so it wasn't a total mess when i was done, but i made one rather massive mistake last year:

i wrote out of order.

i'm a chronological writer. it's how i work. i always have an ending point in mind, and usually a few major plot points determined; i let the more minor details work themselves out (and am usually pleased to find that because i let the characters boss me around a bit, the story has more depth and detail that i would initially have thought).

so, all my 8000 docs with various scenes written on them from last year?

yep, they are still all disjointed and sitting in a folder on my hard drive. i simply don't have the patience to fix/connect/adjust everything that it needs, so until i really have the time, that story will sit there, unworked. (boo, hiss.)

[side note: i have scrivener now, so organization is much easier.]

i am planning on continuing a project that i've already started for nano this year, which is technically against the rules, but i only have about 6-8k written of it, and that's a far cry from complete, so it is what it is. it's my goal to hit the nano goal of 50K written in november by about 3-4 days before the end of the month so that perhaps i'll be closer to 60K written for the month when everything is said and done.

what is this project, you ask?

it's a pretty angsty, dark and twisty little thing. nothing supernatural, no fantasy elements like the project i'll be querying soon. it's my (rather emotional) take on a classic boy-meets-girl story, and i really love the characters.

the protagonist is a boy.

this makes me happy-happy-happy.

that said, the playlist that helps me write the story? is primarily girl singers.

here's the song that inspired the whole shebang, performed live by the girl who wrote it:

via

i think i love you like a car crash, dear

i don't want your wreckage, but i find i cannot steer

my eyes away now

in fact, miss nalick's entire second album has been vastly impacting regarding the story, the characters, and their development.

i'll link my nano profile in the right column over there,  but for now:

which songs inspire you?

fast 5: countries i'd like to visit

i love to travel. whether that means a weekend getaway or a quick road trip to the next town over, i don't care - i just love it.

at this point, there are only a handful of cities in the US that my family and i haven't been able to visit together, but once we've hit those up, i have a short list of countries that are top priority once we are able to "see the world."

5 countries i want to visit

 

1. England

i'm a total anglophile, so i'm pretty sure i'd lose my fangirly mind wandering london. the beatles, fish and chips, the Queen, and reminders of Harry Potter & Doctor Who everywhere! SQUEEEEEE!

 

via

 

2. Spain

this is the country of my familial origins, i love the cuisine, and i love the architecture. 

 

Barcelona

via

 

3. Italy

all of it. honestly, i wish there was more italian lineage in my bloodlines. also, why are most from-italy italian men so attractive? jeez.

 

The Colosseum, Rome

via

 

4. Australia

i realize the place is huge, but i'd take a tour of melbourne and/or sydney. :)

 

P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way

via

 

5. Greece

specifically athens and santorini. the history & culture would make it a perfect place for my family to visit.

 

Santorini

via

i'd also like to go to Paris and Prague, as well as Sweden and Japan, and my husband would probably like to visit Germany. also! o canada, we have not forgotten you - Vancouver, specifically. we're trying to plan a european trip for 2013 or 2014, but i'm not sure whether that's going to happen. crossing my fingers, though!

where do you want to visit?

fast 5: please go away

fast 5 will be a thing where i just blog a random list. i don't know how often i'll make said lists, but this one's been in my brains for the last few days, so here we go:

 

 

5 bands or songs i would like a reprieve from:

after living in austin: anything by nirvana

after living in nashville: anything by pearl jam
(apparently every major city's radio staff has a favorite grunge band)

young the giant, "cough syrup"

cage the elephant, "shake me down"

fun., "we are young"

dear every djs everywhere:

these songs are dead. after all, the youngest of these is from what, 2010? ok, maybe early, early 2011. why-oh-why are these still on heavy rotation?

i'm not saying to never play these songs/bands again. but my ears would appreciate a reprieve so that maybe, just maybe, i can start to like these songs and bands again. even six months would suffice. until this happens, please trust that i will either change the station or, if that is not an option, i will roll my eyes for the entirety of any of the aforementioned (with rare exception).

respectfully, a fan of a lot of current music,
b helm

p.s. bands with punctuation in their names are ridiculous, though (for right now), i'm ok with "some nights."
p.s.s. i do love me some dave grohl, and his attachment to nirvana is not lost on me, but really, enough with "smells like teen spirit," guys. really.


--

which songs do you wish radio would forget about, temporarily or not?

4 Simple Goals

a friend of mine follows the blog A Beautiful Mess, which i, myself, have recently started following as well. in a post there, they spoke of coming up with four action-oriented goals for the remainder of the year - they should be things you actively do regularly before 2013 is upon us.

as i read my friend's goals, as well as those listed on A Beautiful Mess, i was struck with the simplicity of them, and how ingenious it is to think of 4 items that are easy to do but also improve your quality of life with minimal effort.

and how that minimal required effort is often why those things get pushed to the side or even off the to-do list entirely.

life's about to change in a big way for my family and me, and after spending the afternoon thinking about this simple idea, i've come up with my own four simple goals. (i'm a bit wordy here. sorry.)

via

one: go outside. 

on november 17th, we're moving back to texas. this isn't news, not really, and we're excited about it, but here's the deal: tennessee is gorgeous. i mean, like, jaw-droppingly gorgeous, and in a way that texas is not. texas is all rolling hills and pale green and brown with lovely blue skies. tennessee is mountains topped with treelines and deep greens and grays. 

i need to get out in it more while it's available to me. and so i shall. perhaps i'll snap some photos to blog as documentation of said gorgeousness.

two: spend my morning commute in quiet. 

several years ago, i was an active churchgoer. for reasons i won't list out here, i am not any longer. but at one point in my history, a leader challenged me to spend time in what he called silence and solitude, and the mental clarity that i was able to garner as a result of spending intentional time alone and in my own kind of quiet was impressive.

my morning commute isn't terribly long, but it is arguably the only me-time i get every day where i am absolutely alone; therefore, it will do. so now, more often than not, i hope my mornings are just me, some good tunes, and perhaps a bit more mental clarity.

three: have quality time with both my husband and daughter every day. 

i know that this seems like a no brainer, but frankly, life is busy and it's easy to let this slide.

but i shouldn't.

so, let me clarify a couple things, because for me, there are two different meanings at play here:

for time spent with my daughter, quality time means letting go of being mama for a minute and playing and engaging her without any real direction. just be with her, love on her, and enjoy every second, because she's growing up too damn fast. for my husband, it means actively devoting time to him. whether that's reading together or watching some documentary with him because it's suddenly struck his interest, or debating (ok, usually agreeing 100%) about politics, i don't care, i just don't want us to be in our own little worlds every night after spending all day apart, and it's easy to let that happen. after all, he's incredibly intelligent and i think he's pretty cute. time spent in his company is never wasted.

quality time. the end.

four: watch doctor who. 

i am sure someone somewhere is laughing at me for this, but the thing is? the happiness that doctor who brings me is deliciously nerdy and i've never experienced such deep-seated love for a fictional character as i have for the doctor. so, despite the fact that the show has also (recently) proven that it can rip my heart into shreds, i adore it.

i really do.

and i have 4 seasons left, and a pretty epic crush on david tennant. so, yay for nerdy british television. best.

-

i'm hoping that next time i blog about this subject, i've actually acted on this list. outlook is good, i'd say. :)

do you have any simple goals you'd like to reach by year end?

#loveit: scarves

so, i have to say: i'm a texas girl.

ah, texas: where it's hotter than hell at least 8 months a year, where you can't really buy a decent coat, and where you learn to layer even in the spring because the weather is schizophrenic.

side note: because it's so dang hot outside, often i find myself carrying a jacket in the heat of summer, because folks can be a little overly excited with the air conditioning.

anyway.

maybe that absurd level of heat is why i adore winter clothes so much - pea coats and boots and sweaters... i love it all. perhaps this is because i rarely got to utilize them as a kid. who knows? however, i wanted to take a moment and discuss one of my most favorite cool-weather accessories.

the scarf.

le sigh.

i love them all. i love that you can dress them up or down, and that they come in so many varied patterns and materials. i love that there are about 10000 ways to wear them (though my favorite is what i call the "alfie" style - more on that in a bit).

i only own a handful of scarves, because... well, it's hot in texas, yo. but i was thrilled beyond belief to be able to make use of my paltry collection last winter here in nashville.

here are a few scarves that i really love, all courtesy of pinterest. :)

this one happens to include one of my favorite colors - teal.

via 

 i love the bright colors of this one, and the flower is a great addition. 

via 

and now, for something completely different: 

i love the muted tones of this one: 

via

and for those of you who are not familiar, here's alfie (and an example of my favorite way to wear a scarf): 

(the 2004 incarnation, anyway.)

via 

what's your favorite cool-weather accessory? 

8 questions

a lovely friend of mine, jen, tagged me in a bit of a random bloggy questionnaire. it's super cute, and a bit of fun, so i thought i'd post my responses. :) [side note - there's a link to her blog right over there, in the right column.]

 1. You must post the rules.

2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.

3. Create eight new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged. 

4. Tag eight people with a link to your post.

5. Let them know they’ve been tagged.

jen's questions for me:

1. If you could only read one book for the rest of your life, what would it be?

this is difficult, but i think i'd have to choose the book that a) is the first one that i remember reading multiple times as a child, b) was my introduction to science fiction/fantasy sort of stories (and therefore my eventual nerdiness, which i embrace wholeheartedly), and c) i still love, even now as an adult. that book? it's A WRINKLE IN TIME by Madeleine L'Engle.

2. Would you rather always be under dressed or overdressed?

honestly, i love pretty clothes and shoes. however, there's nothing better than a comfy pair of jeans and a v-neck t-shirt with some chucks, so i'd have to say i'd rather be under dressed.

3. What shoe do you put on first?

i am a weirdo, and i don't even pay attention. honestly, once i've decided which shoes i'm going to wear, i just pick whichever one is nearest and go with it. [side note - when i'm trying shoes on, i always try the right one]

4. Pepsi or Coke?

i don't drink sodas anymore, so can i have a latte instead, please? haha. but really: coke. as a kid, i was basically force fed pepsi and i think it's gross now.

5. Do you sleep with your bedroom door open or closed?

most of the time, it's cracked - not wide open, not totally closed.

6.  What is one talent you wish you had?

i wish i was more crafty than i am. i can do some things, and i can follow instructions if they are available, but i'm not good at the logistics of actually planning a project myself.

7. Is your personality like that of your astrological sign?

well, i'm sort of half and half, really. i do love travel, adventure, and meeting new people, and i also love to learn (sagittarians are typically knowledge-seekers). i rely a lot on intuition, which is apparently an assumption about many of us born in late november and early-to-mid december, too. however, it's also a stereotype that sagittarians are prone to glossing over problems and not dealing with them, but that couldn't be further from the truth. it's also an assumption that sagittarians are commitment-phobes, and... well... that is not remotely accurate. so, short answer? kind of. haha.

8. If you could only save one keepsake, what would it be?

i've often thought about what i would do if my house was on fire. what would i grab, provided my kids and husband were safe? and the answer is pretty easy. although it would pain me to watch all my books go up in flames, i'd grab my iMac, because it includes all my photos, and i can't even stomach the idea of not having a documentation of her growing up. (it also holds all of my writing projects.) however, if we're talking actual keepsake: there's a small, precious moments piece of wall decor that was always on the wall in my bedroom as a child and now hangs in my daughter's room. it holds more meaning for me than i can adequately express.

 i'm not going to prompt anyone in particular, because hardly anyone actually follows this blog, but i will list 8 questions in case anyone wants to answer them:

1. which random item do you wish you'd invented?
2. if you could travel anywhere for 2 weeks, where would you go and why? 
3. if you could jump into the universe of a single book or book series which would you choose? 
4. which song do you listen to when you're happiest? 
5. fill in the blank: my favorite word is __________.
6. which is your favorite x-men character and why?
7. which would you rather: an afternoon alone or an afternoon spent in a group?
8. if you could interview any celebrity, which would you choose?

tada. if you post your responses, let me know. :) you can do it in the comments here, if you're so inclined, or not at all.

update: querying process

so, i wrote a book.

and when i finished it, i was all, "yesssssss, i wrote a book, oh-em-gee, amazing!" right? i was (am) so proud, and it's 74000 words of YA fantasy, which is (to be honest) a genre that i never thought i would write. i love my protagonists, i love where the story is going, and i love that the story arc itself challenges and excites me.

i sent it to some people for feedback, and then made a quick pass of edits to get it cleaned up a bit. then, a few weeks ago, i send the quick-edited draft to a friend who is an editor by trade for a comprehensive check of grammar and the writing in general.

all of this editing?

it's to prep the manuscript as best as i can for the querying process.

in the event that anyone reading this doesn't know what that is: querying is the process of sending a summary of your work to various agents in an attempt to find representation for yourself, as an author. this representation could be for a single work, but really, most agents want to represent an author's entire body of works - including current and future projects.

so, here's the tricky bit:

your query letter summary should be... oh, 200 words. maybe 300, if you're pushing it. because the whole thing should be no more than 500 words.

this is difficult at best. i'm sure you can imagine why, but let me just list a few reasons:

• as an author, you probably want to include more than is necessary
• you never really know what will catch peoples' interest
• every. single. word. better be perfect. 

and and and!

it's not abnormal to get rejection after rejection before you find that one agent that will represent your work and believes in you and your skill. as an example, a dear friend of mine is going to be published next may, and if you ask me, her manuscript is gorgeously and crisply written, is really quite original, and includes a really strong storyline, and she was rejected 60 times before she received an offer for representation.

so, you know... super fun.

but there's a huge reason that i'm willing to put myself through this, and it's huge:

most major publishing houses will only considered agented manuscripts.

there's a million reasons for this, but i'm almost positive that most of them have to do with the inherent quality of an agented manuscript versus those that are not.

so, where am i in this process?

my query summary is drafted. i'm taking a few days away from it to come back and review it, and then i'll be putting the rest of the letter together for emailing. i have a list of about fifteen agents that i'll be querying initially, and i'll be looking up at least fifteen more. the plan, right now, is to send out 10 at a time, once a week.

basically:

this will be (and is, even preemptively) me:

via

because i'll be a hot mess, its likely that i will want an exorbitant amount of this: 

 

via 

meanwhile, all the agents will be like this: 

 

via

i'm only sort of kidding.

side note: ryan gosling, you are a sexy beast. 

anyway, back on topic:

querying. yes, the very thought makes me nauseous, but this is a step toward my dream of having a proper writing career, and so it simply is what it is. the fact that my entire career is based on this very brief letter only increases my desire that this letter be spot-on-freaking-perfect.

is there something you want to do in your life that makes you as anxious as this makes me?