The kiddo is watching "Brave" again, reviewing the story of her favoritest of all the Disney princesses (and, frankly, Merida's probably my favorite, too, with Tiana coming in at a very close second), so I thought I'd take some time to blab about some decisions I've recently made. As a warning, this blog is of a really personal nature.
First, we're having a pretty large amount of financial strife at present, and we have, really, for what seems like years. Really, it originated back in mid-2009, when my job was outsourced to India, and I faced nearly 5 months of unemployment. That was a really rough period in our lives, suffice to say. Thanks to many variables, including no less than 3 lay offs experienced by K in 2011, I don't feel like we've ever even come close to recovering. This would all be frustrating and perhaps debilitating enough, but it's made potentially doubly so now, because we're both working, and we still don't seem to be able to make a dent in the things we want so badly to be out from under. However, this is what I've realized:
I've become resigned.
I've gotten to the point where I'm past wanting to buy a house, even though it's what K and I really want, what B deserves. I'm bloody sick of being in an apartment, but my credit blows a big one, and there's nothing I can do, at present, to fix it. I've gotten to the point where I'm done worrying about all of it. I've gotten to the point where almost nothing - none of the absurd financial things that seem to continue happening, no matter how little money we actually spend - ruffles my feathers anymore. Yes, it all sucks. Yes, I wish it was different. Yes, I'm aware that part of this problem is that, for at least the last 3-4 years, I've been consistently paid less than I deserve, based on my education and experience. But we don't seem to be able to move forward, so we do with what's there, and that's all we can do.
Yes, I want better for us. But it doesn't seem possible for now, so, I guess, whatever. That may be a sad thought. But honestly, for the sake of my sanity, I can't really consider it any other way right now. And I feel at least ok about it.
Maybe I'll go buy a lottery ticket. ;)
Moving on.
Second, I've decided that May 1st, I'm getting back on the dietary bandwagon. I'm going to attempt to do what is now being considered Paleo (sort of). What I mean is that I'm going to try to kick a lot of the processed crap out of my diet, and I want to re-up my water intake. We'll see how it goes. I'm also going to try to get back to working out 3 times a week, even if that just means taking a long walk with the kiddo in the evenings. I weigh significantly more than people generally think I do, and I want to change that. I want to be where I want to be; as it stands, I'm comfortable as I am, but I want to be healthier, and if I want to change, I've got to do something about it.
What's really unfortunate is that eating healthy is expensive as shit, which is so ridiculous, but what can you do? We'll do the best we can do.
Third, I've had a lot of issue as of late being able to find the focus I need to write. I don't know what that means. It's a little scary, to be honest, but I've been in a similar position before, and I hope this is just fleeting (for lack of a better phrase - the writer's block has never lasted this long before). A lot of it comes from my taking issue with the industry itself right now, and that set of issues isn't going anywhere, so I am either going to have to get over it on my own or just shove through my irritation.
Fourth, I feel like, for the last few years, the status of many of my friendships has been in flux. This is something I'm learning to deal with on my own. I'm adjusting, learning how to deal with feelings of exclusion and the like, and I feel like I've grown stronger because of it. I'm spending more time at home without complaint (though, I'll be honest, sometimes, I just need to get OUT), and thanks to these developments, I've learned who my true, real life friends are. And because my friends are more like family than most of my actual family, this is a good lesson to have learned.
What's funny is that I know that a good portion of this blog could be considered negative. Maybe you're worried that I'm feeling bad about life or something right now. But I promise you: I'm not. I feel fine. I'm alive, I'm still breathing, my kid has food to eat, my husband and I genuinely love one another (which is significantly more than some can say), I have a job that I enjoy about 90% of the time, and HEB makes a really delicious brew of coffee that I can make whenever, wherever.
Really, I'm not sure you can expect much more from life.
Til next time,
-A
Sunday 28 April 2013
Monday 22 April 2013
20 Questions
I thought this questionnaire was pretty cool, and my friends over at keysmashblog posted it a couple weeks back. Because I'm pretty fantastically faily right now about keeping up with my eleventy million emailed notifications of new blog posts (and Google Reader is kaput), I thought I'd post my responses here.
1. How do you take your coffee?
With a good amount of sugar and half and half. Please note that I do not like flavored creamers. Honestly, there's very little I find less appetizing.
2. What is/are your middle name(s)?
Renee. No tilde.
3. Do you have a side of the bed?
When I'm actually in bed, I prefer to be on the right.
4. What is your favorite color to wear?
Purple or teal.
5. Do you leave the water running when you brush your teeth?
Sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean: Usually. #waste
6. When you’re home alone are you more often watching TV or listening to music?
Listening to music, unless I'm in the middle of a Doctor Who marathon. For reals.
7. Do you sing in the shower? If so, what songs?
Oddly enough? No. You're all surprised, aren't you?
8. How many times do you hit the snooze button?
Zero, usually. That said, I usually have 3 or so alarms, all set to go off at random times on my phone, so if I ignore one, another is usually coming at some strange interval of time later.
9. If you could change your name would you? If so, to what?
Meh. Angela is alright.
10. Do you crack your knuckles?
I do. It's a rather unfortunate and nasty habit.
11. Do you fall asleep easily?
Depends on what the day was like. There are evenings in which I stare at the ceiling for ages, and others in which I pass out moments after my head hits the pillow.
12. Do you smile at yourself in the mirror?
I do. Who doesn't?
13. How many pairs of jeans do you own?
Honestly? 4. Yes, that's it. And 2 of them don't fit properly.
14. Do you prefer a firm mattress or a soft mattress?
Firm.
15. How do you like your burgers done?
Eh. Medium-Well, I suppose. Red meat and I aren't really BFFs.
16. What is the newest music you’ve listened to?
One Direction. Don't judge me, monkey.
17. Do you use lip balm?
I'm actually pretty sometime-y with lip balm.
18. Are you good at parallel parking?
Well, I haven't done it since this one time in Nashville almost 2 years ago. I hate it, regardless of whether I'm good at it or not.
19. How often do you Google yourself?
Uh, I think I've done that once. Because no thanks.
20. What kind of bread do you keep in your house?
Wheat, always.
1. How do you take your coffee?
With a good amount of sugar and half and half. Please note that I do not like flavored creamers. Honestly, there's very little I find less appetizing.
2. What is/are your middle name(s)?
Renee. No tilde.
3. Do you have a side of the bed?
When I'm actually in bed, I prefer to be on the right.
4. What is your favorite color to wear?
Purple or teal.
5. Do you leave the water running when you brush your teeth?
Sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean: Usually. #waste
6. When you’re home alone are you more often watching TV or listening to music?
Listening to music, unless I'm in the middle of a Doctor Who marathon. For reals.
7. Do you sing in the shower? If so, what songs?
Oddly enough? No. You're all surprised, aren't you?
8. How many times do you hit the snooze button?
Zero, usually. That said, I usually have 3 or so alarms, all set to go off at random times on my phone, so if I ignore one, another is usually coming at some strange interval of time later.
9. If you could change your name would you? If so, to what?
Meh. Angela is alright.
10. Do you crack your knuckles?
I do. It's a rather unfortunate and nasty habit.
11. Do you fall asleep easily?
Depends on what the day was like. There are evenings in which I stare at the ceiling for ages, and others in which I pass out moments after my head hits the pillow.
12. Do you smile at yourself in the mirror?
I do. Who doesn't?
13. How many pairs of jeans do you own?
Honestly? 4. Yes, that's it. And 2 of them don't fit properly.
14. Do you prefer a firm mattress or a soft mattress?
Firm.
15. How do you like your burgers done?
Eh. Medium-Well, I suppose. Red meat and I aren't really BFFs.
16. What is the newest music you’ve listened to?
One Direction. Don't judge me, monkey.
17. Do you use lip balm?
I'm actually pretty sometime-y with lip balm.
18. Are you good at parallel parking?
Well, I haven't done it since this one time in Nashville almost 2 years ago. I hate it, regardless of whether I'm good at it or not.
19. How often do you Google yourself?
Uh, I think I've done that once. Because no thanks.
20. What kind of bread do you keep in your house?
Wheat, always.
Sunday 14 April 2013
101/1001: #90. Wear false eyelashes
Donezo! I wore false eyelashes while I stood for one of my dearest friends in her wedding. Maid of Honor, baby!
Wheee!
Wheee!
 |
| Courtesy of my Instagram Feed. |
Can't I wear them every day, forever? Sigh.
Friday 5 April 2013
Summer Reading Plans
Hey there.
So, this thing has been circulating around the interwebz : clicky click.
Aside from the fact that, for about a thousand reasons, I won't touch 50 Shades of Shite with a ten foot pole, I've made myself go through this flow chart a couple different times with different answers, and every time, I've ended up with a book that's been on my to-be-read list for quite some time, which is pretty cool.
That got me thinking - what are my summer reading plans? Last year, I decided to read some kidlit between whatever I happened to pick up from my shelves. In some instances, I reread old favorites; in others, it was the first time I'd gotten around to it. Some examples of what I read last summer are:
I think that, this summer, I'll finish up my reread of the Harry Potter books. I just started a slow read of Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, and I'm really enjoying reading the books with the knowledge of everything that's to come. I'll also continue to be part of a book club. But, I'm not sure that that's really enough to constitute Summer Reading Plans! Maybe I should set a numerical goal - "I'll read x books by the last day of August."
Are you a reader? What are you going to be reading this summer?
:)
So, this thing has been circulating around the interwebz : clicky click.
Aside from the fact that, for about a thousand reasons, I won't touch 50 Shades of Shite with a ten foot pole, I've made myself go through this flow chart a couple different times with different answers, and every time, I've ended up with a book that's been on my to-be-read list for quite some time, which is pretty cool.
That got me thinking - what are my summer reading plans? Last year, I decided to read some kidlit between whatever I happened to pick up from my shelves. In some instances, I reread old favorites; in others, it was the first time I'd gotten around to it. Some examples of what I read last summer are:
- A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle (one of my favorite books)
- Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
- Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
- Wonder by RJ Palacio (FEELS ALL OVER)
 |
| An approximation of my tbr pile. No, really. |
Are you a reader? What are you going to be reading this summer?
:)
Thursday 4 April 2013
101/1001 - #93: Watch all of the James Bond movies
Self-explanatory, yes? #93 on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days is to watch all the Bond movies, in sequential order. My husband loves James Bond (most men do, I've found), and I really enjoy the films since Daniel Craig has taken on the role.
Here's the list. I'll update with the date I watch each film.
Here's the list. I'll update with the date I watch each film.
Official James Bond films
Dr. No (1962-Sean
Connery) - watched 4/3/2013
From Russia With
Love (1963-Sean Connery)
Goldfinger
(1964-Sean Connery)
Thunderball (1965-Sean
Connery)
You Only Live
Twice (1967-Sean Connery)
On Her Majesty's
Secret Service (1969-George Lazenby)
Diamonds Are
Forever (1971-Sean Connery)
Live and Let Die
(1973-Roger Moore)
The Man with the
Golden Gun (1974-Roger Moore)
The Spy Who Loved
Me (1977-Roger Moore)
Moonraker
(1979-Roger Moore)
For Your Eyes Only
(1981-Roger Moore)
Octopussy
(1983-Roger Moore)
A View to a Kill
(1985-Roger Moore)
The Living
Daylights (1987-Timothy Dalton)
Licence to Kill
(1989-Timothy Dalton)
GoldenEye
(1995-Pierce Brosnan)
Tomorrow Never
Dies (1997-Pierce Brosnan)
The World is Not
Enough (1999-Pierce Brosnan)
Die Another Day
(2002-Pierce Brosnan)
Casino Royale
(2006-Daniel Craig)
Quantum of Solace
(2008-Daniel Craig)
Skyfall
(2012-Daniel Craig)
"Bond
24" (2014?)
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