10 Things I've Finally Learned

(in no particular order)

1. Letting go is better, sometimes. Even if you're not good at it. Even if it hurts all the while. You shouldn't have to fight for some things. If you do, they weren't worth it to begin with. Sometimes, life gets in the way. If a separation happens, but you come back together later, it's probably genuine. So it goes.

2. Chbosky was right: We accept the love we think we deserve. If you don't love yourself truly, you won't allow anyone else to, either.

3. It's OK to not be OK.

4. Do not ignore your own needs. Not for long, anyway.

5. It really is the little things. Be reasonable, but don't deny yourself.

6. You should always be developing and growing yourself. Learn, change, move. That's life.

7. "Call few people enemies and call fewer people friends." * Watch who you open your heart to.

8. "Don't do it for the wealth; do it all for the love. Love everything you do and do nothing halfheartedly." *

9. "Be what you speak, man. Never speak on what you be." * Only you can do you. Respect yourself and be who you are.

10. You are responsible for your inner peace. You can let people or situations rob you of it, but ultimately? It's on you. Hold onto it.




* lyrics taken from Deep Puddle Dynamics' song "The Scarecrow Speaks" which contains an insane amount of quotable lyrics. We can talk about my attachment to that song in another post.

Becoming a Master

last saturday, i got together with a group of friends i haven't seen in nearly a year, and it was super fun. all we did was sit around and drink wine and talk smack and laugh, and it was just a blast. at one point, though, my friend asked the group of us that were all seated at the table in the kitchen, "if you could do anything for work what would you do?"

and it got me thinking. 

my immediate answer is "be a writer." 

someone responded, "but you are a writer," which is a valid point, but i suppose i was meaning the sort of writer who actually gets paid for stringing all those words together. 

however, then i thought, aside from writing, what would i want to do? 

the answer was very clear to me - i'd want to work with teenagers. i realize that probably a large percentage of you guys reading this are thinking, 'lady, you must be out of your mind,' but the fact is that they don't drive me insane the way they do most people. and in fact, kids in that age bracket are in such a vulnerable place - their entire lives are spread out before them, this million mile road map with no real key provided to give direction - and we expect them to just get it done. 

it's stressful and difficult and crazy, and i'm convinced that they just need someone - maybe even just one person - to show them that they are actually cared about. that they're important. that their thoughts are worthwhile, and they can be somebody. 

basically, they need somebody to convey this message to them, and to make them believe it: 

via

i've always loved that movie. side note: there's very little that makes me happier than this scene (ohai, professor mcgonagall and lauryn hill and that dude from city high!). but anyway, back on track: 

life's been stressful for me lately, to say the least. i'm emotionally drained, seemingly perpetually in need of a nap, and having a hard time focusing on  much of anything. but in my conversation with my friend, i realized that, although i generally dislike school to an inordinate degree, i could go back to get a master's degree if i knew it would get me into a place where i'd be working with kids on a full time basis. thankfully, texas state university has a program where they'll allow you to take courses for shortage areas (subjects that are in desperate need of teachers to fill positions) in which they'll pay you 35K for "living expenses" while you're completing the 36 hours they require to award that degree, provided you work in AISD when you're done. 

it's a viable option. 

i'm pretty excited about the idea, and i'm going to make some phone calls this week to get some further detail, because if i'm not writing, i simply can't bear the thought of sitting around in corporate america forever (although there is one company i wouldn't mind working for - more on that later). 

what do you want to do with your life? 

I WANNA ROCK!